There are two kinds of people in this world:
1) Those who love pizza and think Erio Touwa is a precious angelbaby
I’m gonna assume most of y’all are in the top category, because pizza is delicious and I’m pretty sure it’s physically impossible to actually dislike Erio Touwa.
You’re all probably used to the usual sort of pizza: cheese, sauce, maybe some meat, but in Japan, they add super cool things, like butter scallops and thick cut bacon, so in this delightful post, we’re gonna be making a delicious fucking pizza dedicated to the cuteness that is Erio Touwa.
Scallops and Bacon Pizza
(servings: it’s literally a giant pizza I mean Erio eats that shit whole but you do you homie)
adapted from: x
Ingredients for Garlic Bread Pizza Dough-
- 1 1/8 cups warm water (100-105 degrees)
- 3 teaspoons active dry yeast
- 1 1/2 tablespoons honey
- 1 1/2 tablespoon olive oil
- 3 cups all-purpose flour
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 1 teaspoon garlic powder
- 1 teaspoon dried basil
- 6 tablespoons unsalted butter
- 2 garlic cloves, pressed or very finely minced
- 2 tablespoons parmesan cheese
Cheeses to use on the Dough- So for cheese, I say add whatever and however much you want, but I totally recommend at least using Mozzarella, Ricotta, and Parmesan. Other types you can use are Provolone, Baby Fontina, and Asiago! Remember to shred them all before using!
Ingredients for scallop and bacon toppings-
- 1 cup fresh baby scallops (out of shell)
- 2 1/2 Tbsp white wine
- 3 Tbsp butter*
- 1 1/2 Tbsp soy sauce
- olive oil (for drizzling)
- 3 Tbsp butter (or more if desired)
- 4 to 5 pieces of thick cut bacon, sliced into 1 inch squares
- 4 Tbsp minced scallions
* you could maybe use more, idk, Julia Child says you can never have to much butter. Doctors disagree but Julia Child is our lord and savior so I trust her more than some dude with like 50 medical degrees anyway.
Ingredients for garlic aioli spread-
- 2 garlic cloves
- 1 large egg
- 2 tsp fresh lemon juice
- 1/2 tsp Dijon mustard
- 1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil (more virginal than Masayoshi lmao)
- 3 Tbsp vegetable oil
Procedure for Pizza-
- In a large bowl, combine water, yeast, honey and olive oil. Mix with a spoon, then let sit until foamy, about 10 minutes.
- Add in 2 1/2 cups flour, salt, garlic powder and dried basil, stirring with a spoon until the dough comes together but it still sticky.
- Using your hands, form the dough into a ball and work the additional 1/2 cup flour (you don’t need to use all if it is not needed) in to the dough, kneading it on a floured surface for a few minutes.
- Rub the same bowl with olive oil then place the dough inside, turning to coat. Cover with a towel and place in a warm place to rise for about 1 1/2 hours.
- After the dough’s more well rested than a NEET on any average day, Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
- After the dough has risen, punch it down and place it back on the floured surface. Using a roll pin or your hands, form it into a fabulously perfect circle. Or like a shitty circle. I usually end up with the latter.
- Place the towel back over the dough and let sit in the warm place for 10 minutes.
- While the dough is rising again, melt 4 tablespoons of butter. Mix it with the garlic and 1 tablespoon of parmesan cheese.
- Bring the dough back out and using a spoon or pastry brush, douse the outside edges with the butter and garlic mixture. You can spread the butter all over, just make sure to focus on the edges. Use all dat shit son, you ain’t getting any younger.
- Add the shredded parmesan, ricotta, and the shredded mozzarella and whatevs other cheeses you’re using. Use enough cheese to make Erio proud.
- Bake the pizza for 23-25 minutes (or longer if needed, depending on your toppings), or until crust and cheese are both golden.
- While pizza is baking, melt remaining butter and combine with the last tablespoon of parmesan.
- Remove pizza from over and immediately brush the outside edges with parmesan butter, using it all up. Sprinkle some more parmesan on top because you have lose control of your life and cheese is the only thing anchoring you to sanity.
AND BAM. YOU’RE DONE WITH THE BASE. Now to make some motherfucking toppings.
Procedure for scallops and bacon topping-
- Heat butter up on a very large frying pan over high heat.
- Take your 5 slices of thick cut bacon, sliced into 1 in squares/rectangle/shapes and place them on the frying pan so that none of them are overlapping. If that means having to do multiple rounds of frying, do that and don’t skip on it you lazy cockpocket.
- Cook until just barely crispy. When done, place all over the pizza. If you don’t want to use all of it, be hardcore and just eat it on the spot because you’re a cool kid.
- Heat some olive oil in a frying pan over high heat.
- Drop in the baby scallops and fry for a little while. Add the white wine (and then poor a few glasses of it for yourself because you are beautiful and you deserve delicious booze).
- Turn fir to low. Cover with lid and steam fry until the wine reduces almost completely.
- Add the butter and soy sauce and toss the scallops to make sure both the butter and soy sauce are incorporated into it. Fry for a bit longer, and then remove from heat.
- plop that shit wherever you want on the pizza.
- Mince the scallions and sprinkle all over the pizza to make shit fancier and delicious…er.
Aight nerds, now for the final step to making the perfect Erio Touwa Pizza.
Procedure for Garlic Aioli-
- Mince and mash garlic to a paste with a pinch of salt using a large heavy knife to mash and chop it. Destory that garlic like you want to destroy anyone who dares make Erio Touwa sad.
- Whisk together yolk, lemon juice, and mustard in a bowl. Combine oils and add, a few drops at a time, to yolk mixture, whisking constantly, until all oil is incorporated and mixture is emulsified.(If mixture separates, stop adding oil and continue whisking until mixture comes together, then resume adding oil.)
- Whisk in garlic paste and season with salt and pepper. If aïoli is too thick, whisk in 1 or 2 drops of water.
- Place in the refrigerator for like 10-15 minutes to set.
- When that’s done, place the aioli in an empty plastic zip up bag. cut the very corner of the zip up bag and proceed to squirt the aioli on top of the entire pizza, toppings and all.
Some people do zig zag lines along and across the pizza, but I suggest using all or most of the aioli in whatever way you want because you are a precious fuckin individual yo.
WOOOAAAAAHHHH YOU JUST MADE PIZZA
THATS SO RAD
not only did you just make pizza, you made super cool japanese pizza that’s eaten by the one and only ‘alien(?)’ erio fuCKIN TOUWA.
Go enjoy that shit while you debate whether she’s either fuckin insane or she really is an alien like she claims.
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