GONNA POST A SUSHI TUTORIAL AND TRY AND GET MORE SHIT DONE ON SATURDAY BECAUSE I AM A FREE HUMAN FOR A DAY
Alright nerds, I feel like this announcement is much needed

SOrry I”ve been gone for so long ahhh I feel really bad, but I honestly think it’s what needs to be done. What started out as a simple learning experience working at an upscale dining place eventually turned out to be a full time job. I’m apparently like, super legit now. It’s cool. But that, along with culinary school and college and stuff is kind of taking a lot out of me. 

Not only that, but a lot of the recipes I want to do now in my free time (which is usually just one day out of the whole week) are more complicated recipes that I’m learning either in school or at work, and while they’re great, they’re not exactly weebish ;_;

So long story short, it might be a while before I post more new shit, but let it be known that I will never give you up

and I will never let you down

And I will NEVER run around

and

desert you (or should I say dessert you ayy)

SO YES. EVEN IF I DONT UPDATE AS MUCH I AM STILL HERE FRIENDS SO HAVE NO FEAR.

If you know me, you know that I love not only wine in it of itself, but cooking with wine (or most alcohol really).

I love setting the hella fortified wines up in flames, I love adding wine to my sauces or deglazing meat fond with them. I just. really,.madmlove wine okAY?@!

So it’ll come to you as no surprise when I say that my favorite recipe of all time is, without a doubt, Coq au Vin.

It’s literally a chicken that’s fried in pig fat, and then simmer in a bottle’s worth of wine until it’s fall off the bone tender. 

And, because I love you all, I will teach you this magical recipe, and if you love me, you’ll make this stuff, because it’s just so good for your soul tbh.

~

Coq au Vin
(serves: 4, or one if you don’t want anyone else to share this beauty w/ u)

-

Ingredients-

  • 1 whole chicken, cut into ten pieces*
  • 6 oz lardons (cut from applewood slab bacon)
  • 2 fl oz brandy
  • 1 oz
  • 48 fl oz wine*
  • 16-20 fl oz chicken stock
  • 4 cloves garlic
  • 2 bay leaves
  • 5 sprigs thyme
  • 6 oz beurre manie*
  • 3 oz cremini mushrooms, thinly sliced

*The pieces should be 2 legs, 2 thighs, 2 wings, and 2 breasts that are both cut in half

*DON’T USE EXPENSIVE WINE. Go for some 9 dollar bottle and you’ll still get great results. I recommend using a cheap cabernet like Joshua or Nicholas

*Beurre Manie is basically butter and flour that’s mixed together till it’s kind of similar to sticky cookie dough. This works as a thickening agent for the stewing liquid so we get a nice sauce for our chicken.

~

Procedure-

  • Marinate your chicken in 24 fl oz of the wine, 2 thyme sprigs and 1 bay leaf overnight. Dry a few minutes before browning on the pan. 
  • Take your slab bacon and cut about 6 oz worth of lardon cubes. Place it in a large sausier pan or rondeau and let the fat render for about 6 minutes, then set aside.
  • Season the chicken pieces with salt and pepper and brown in the same pan using the lardon fat. Cook for a few minutes till all pieces are browned a bit, then add the lardons back in and cook in low heat for about 10 minutes.
  • Deglaze and flambe the chicken with the brandy, then cover the pieces in the tomato paste. Add the garlic, herbs, wine and stock to the pan and simmer. Once it’s simmering, cover partially with the lid and let it simmer for over an hour, or until the thighs are almost fall off the bone tender.
  • 4 minutes prior to the chicken being done, add the mushrooms and continute simmering.
  • Remove the chicken, lardons and mushrooms and reserve. Strain the stewing liquid till all solids are removed and place into a large/medium sized sauce pot. mix in the beurre manie until the sauce it thick enough to coat the back of the spoon, or is a bit thicker than heavy cream. Season with salt and pepper. 
  • Place chicken in a casserole pan and cover with sauce and then top with minced parsley. Serve with angel hair pasta and a crusty french bread. 

~

tbh real talk this recipe is so fancy that if you serve it to the person u like u’ll get laid literally that night no joke

maybe even within the hour

like how do u think aph France gets so many babes it’s probs because he makes them this masterpiece like every night foreal

alright kids, hope you enjoyed this boozetastic french recipe

ONLY ONE MORE TO GOOOO

So one of the top 10’s requested a day of France (from Hetalia, duh)

So I decided to do just that last Sunday. I made 3 recipes that were all hella french (and, coincidentally, all filled with various types of booze.)

SO BAM. HERE’S PART 1 TO THIS FRENCHESS: FOIE GRAS BUTTER

LIKE BUTTER

BUT FANCY

AND FILLED WITH DELICIOUS DUCK LIVER AND BRANDY

~

Foie Butter
(serves: 1 if you’re really ambitious and you really like butter)

-

Ingredients-

  • 1/4 lb Grade A foie gras (I recommend D’artagnan)
  • 1/4 cup cognac
  • 1/3 cup heavy cream
  • 1 clove minced garlic
  • salt and pepper to taste

~

Procedure-

  • Cut foie gras into large chunks and throw literally everything into a blender and blend till creamy. Season with salt and pepper, top with freshly ground pepper and toss in the fridge for about 2 to 3 hours.
  • Serve with delicious bread or crackers or something idk its ur life

~

Wow. that was p fast

UNLIKE THE NEXT RECIPE I’LL BE POSTING

WOOOOOOOOO

get pumped for that guys, get pumped

Answering questions wooo1. IM BACK YEAHHH!!! No need to be worried! Just kind of working and doing a bunch of school stuff! Sunday’s my only free day off work and school so I usually just spend it sleeping and/or cooking or reading manga (cough Tokyo Ghoul cough(/ watching a shit ton of anime
2. I’d love to do that! I’ll post the tag for cheap recipes when It’s ready!
3. I recommend the mini eclairs (check the meals tag!) or the honey lemons (preferably chilled in a freezer 1/2 hour prior to serving). They’re small, light, and fun to snack on!4. no i just run a food blog dedicated to shit animes sorry
5. ayyyy das me
6. I recommend making panna cotta! I don’t have a recipe up yet, but my favorite panna cotta flavors would be sea salt caramel, vanilla or coconut! Serve any of those with a salted caramel sauce and you’re good to go!

Answering questions wooo

1. IM BACK YEAHHH!!! No need to be worried! Just kind of working and doing a bunch of school stuff! Sunday’s my only free day off work and school so I usually just spend it sleeping and/or cooking or reading manga (cough Tokyo Ghoul cough(/ watching a shit ton of anime

2. I’d love to do that! I’ll post the tag for cheap recipes when It’s ready!

3. I recommend the mini eclairs (check the meals tag!) or the honey lemons (preferably chilled in a freezer 1/2 hour prior to serving). They’re small, light, and fun to snack on!

4. no i just run a food blog dedicated to shit animes sorry

5. ayyyy das me

6. I recommend making panna cotta! I don’t have a recipe up yet, but my favorite panna cotta flavors would be sea salt caramel, vanilla or coconut! Serve any of those with a salted caramel sauce and you’re good to go!

ANNOUNCEMENT!!

So I’ve been gone a hella long time due to work and school and stuff (god damn being a professional cook is hard yo)

BUT I WILL ANSWER EVERYONES QUESTIONS, TALK TO THE WINNER PEEPS AND PUT OUT NEW RECIPES TOMORROW!

So get psyched friends, get psyched

OH SHIT GUESS WHO’S BACK!

ME

Anyway, I’ll be posting the winner of the logo and the art thing after this post, but first let’s talk about Shirokuma Cafe.

Jesus christ. How trippy is that anime. Talking animals but like on another level. And one recipe that came up at some point was this weird italian/japanese fusion called Spaghetti Napolitan. 

The original recipe, in my opinion, is sort of bland, but I spiced it and fancied it up a little and bam now it’s beautiful and worth my attention.

So get psyched nerds, we’re going to make a classic with a delightful twist.

~

Japanese Spaghetti Napolitan
(serves: 4, or just one lazy ass panda bear)

-

Ingredients-

  • 12 oz spaghetti or linguini*
  • 5 jalapeño peppers
  • 1/2 cup olive oil
  • 1 1/2 cup canola oil
  • 4 sausages*
  • 2 handfuls cremini mushrooms
  • 3 Tbsp shallots, minced
  • 8 cloves garlic
  • 2 cloves garlic, minced
  • 1 Tbsp butter
  • 1/2 cup ketchup
  • 2 Tbsp tonkatsu sauce
  • 1 Tbsp tomato paste
  • 1/4 cup heavy cream
  • 4 Tbsp parmesan cheese (plus more for garnish)
  • salt and pepper to taste
  • 1 Tbsp flat leaf parsley, minced (plus more for garnish)

*If you don’t have a pasta maker, I recommend just buying it at a store, because the spaghetti needs to be consistent and thinner and that’s harder to do with just a knife tbh

*In my recipe, I used kobe beef franks, but you can use any sausage you want as long as it works well with the flavor. I recommend using sausages with more fat in it, for example a beef or a duck sausage. Chicken or turkey would be a bit too lean and it wouldn’t offer much flavor to the dish.

~

Procedure-

  • Cry over the fact that you will never have a talking polar bear as a boss/coworker
  • Thinly slice the jalapeños until you reach the seeds. Set the slices aside. In a pan heated up to medium high heat, add the 8 cloves of garlic, and then add the olive oil and canola oil. Once the oil is up to 220 degrees and the garlic is translucent and almost browned, turn off the heat and let it steep for 30 minutes. Remove the garlic and then pour the hot oil onto the jalapeño slices in a metal pan/bowl so the oil won’t splash everywhere. Pour just enough to cover the jalapeños and then cool them in the fridge overnight. 
  • Boil the spaghetti according to instructions. Do this in salted water and add some olive oil to prevent sticking. Stir occasionally. 
  • Slice the sausages diagonally and pan fry them until they’re browned. Set them aside once they’re done. 
  • Slice the cremini mushrooms and add them onto the same pan the sausages were fried on. Add some butter and cook until softened and mildly browned. Add the minced shallots and garlic and cook till slightly browned. Drain the jalapeños, then place them in the pan and add a bit of the garlic oil for flavor.
  • In a small bowl, mix the tonkatsu, heavy cream, tomato paste and ketchup. It should taste like a creamy, sort of tangy tomato sauce. Season with some salt and pepper till it matches your preferences, and then set aside. 
  • Add the spaghetti and sausage and mix together till everything’s heated. Add a bit of the sauce until everything’s coated. You don’t have to add all the sauce because then that nonsense is gonna turn into soup.
  • Cook for about 3 minutes, then place in a bowl. Add the grated parmesan and parsley and season further with salt and pepper. Top with some more parmesan and parlsey and a little black pepper and call it a fuckin’ day.

~

Dang. How cool was that recipe?

The only answer I am expecting is SO COOL. 

IT’S LIKE A HYPED UP VERSION OF A JAPANESE CLASSIC WHICH IS BASICALLY A HYPED UP VERSION OF KETCHUP SPAGHETTI WITH HOT DOGS I SHIT YOU NOT.

But unlike my favorite childhood meal, this spaghetti dish won’t make you hate yourself afterwords, because all the ingredients are hella delicious, hella healthy, kinda unconventional, but pretty cool. Like holy shit you’re using poached peppers istg that’s fancy as hell.

SO YES. ENJOY THIS RECIPE. ENJOY IT HARD.

Later, nerds.

So who remembers their first anime obsession? Like that one show that you read fics for and shipped characters and like cried over and bought merch for and oh god

it’s all coming back to me. 

Anyway. That was Fullmetal Alchemist for me. Not like, Brotherhood, but the original Bones animation one. 

I blame this anime for my hellish decent into Weebdom. And so, in honor of this bullshit anime ruining my life, I am going to make Gracia’s (and Winry’s i guess) famous Apple Pie (with a little twist). 

~

Apple Surprise Pie
(serves: just eat the entire 9 inch pie you piece of trash you deserve it)

-

Ingredients for Crust-

  • 2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 2 teaspoons sugar
  • 1 teaspoon kosher salt
  • 2 sticks cold, unsalted butter, sliced into chunks and chilled
  • 1/4 cup milk
  • 1/4 cup (2 ounces) ice water, more as needed

-

Ingredients for Fillings-

  • 2 Japanese Yams
  • 2 cups Tart Apples (approx 3)*
  • 2 Tbsp Sugar
  • 2 Tbsp Light Brown Sugar
  • 1/4 tsp ground cardammom
  • 1/4 tsp Ground Cinnamon
  • 1 Egg Yolk
  • 5 Tbsp Butter
  • 1/4 cup Heavy cream
  • 1/2 tsp Vanilla Extract

-

Procedure for Crust-

  • Sacrifice your siblings body and some of your limbs to ensure a perfectly flaky crust. 
  • In a large bowl stir together the flours, sugar and salt to combine. Scatter the butter slices over the flour, and mix it in with your fingertips until the mixture looks hella crumbly and it looks more like dirt than flour in consistency.
  • Stir together the milk and ice water. Drizzle this mixture over the flour mixture gradually until the dough will hold together when you give it a squeeze, adding more ice water by the teaspoon directly to the dry bits as needed.
  • Wrap the dough in some saran wrap and chill until all the filling are ready.

-

Procedure for Bottom Potato filling-

  • Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Peel and cut the sweet potato into thin slices and layer them onto a grease baking sheet. Bake until soft, so like 10 minutes. 
  • Using a blender or a food processor, puree the soft potatoes, and then place the puree into a medium sized bowl. Mix in the egg yolk, 1 tablespoon of brown sugar, the regular sugar, the vanilla extract, 3 Tbsp butter, and the heavy cream. The batter should be thick. 
  • For the apples, core, peel and thinly slice the apples. Place them onto a pan and add the remaining butter, brown sugar, cinnamon and cardamom. Mix it for a minute or two, and then cover and let it sweat over a low heat for approximately 10 minutes. After 10 minutes, these lil nerds should be done.

~

Assembly-

  • Preheat the oven to 375 F.
  • Roll out the dough and fold it into itself before rolling it out again. You don’t want the dough to look crumbly and flaky, it should look like legit dough. 
  • Separate the dough into two portions, flatten one out and place it into your greased pie pan. Cut out any flapping out edge thingies and press down onto the crust so that it’s not loose.
  • Add a layer of the potato puree, enough so that it fills up like half the pie. Add the apples as a final filling layer, cover the potatoes entirely. 
  • With the second portion of dough, roll it out hella flat and give your pie an adorable lil weave thing. It’s pretty hard to do but if you suck at it, that’s totally a-ok, because I probably suck at it more lmao.
  • pinch on the edges so that none of the edges are loose, then, use another egg yolk and a splash of heavy cream and use a pastry brush to brush a coating of that over the pie.
  • Throw that nonsense into the oven for approximately 30 minutes, or until it’s hella browned and pretty. Take it out of the oven and let it cool for like an hour, then serve it with some ice cream and some  nostalgic weeb memories (aka all the fanfiction you wrote in middle school.)

-

Damn. You just made some real special lookin apple pie friend. I hope you’re proud of yourself, because you just accomplished some really magical things today.

Enjoy your pie, try and block out the gross weeb memories from back in the day, and appreciate the perfection that is FMA and FMA:B. 

-

also sign up for this contest ahh

*zooooom* our Cooking Mama is on fire grabbing the opportunities left and right. We (your weebo children who used to be underfed/nourished) are so proud of you and no those aren't tears its the onions I'm chopping.
Anonymous

IM CRYING I LOVE YOU SO MUCH WOW

CONGRATS ON THE JOB!!!!! you must try things that may not work, and you must not let anyone define your limits becuse of where you come from. Your only limit is your soul. -CHEF GUSTEAU
Anonymous

YOU ARE AN ANGEL